The Super Bowl Halftime Show Has Sent Me Into a Midlife Crisis

When people think of "millennials" they think of people roughly from my age to Jeff's age. We're in that sweet 30-35 range (even though boomers will still think the 18 year old kid they yelled at at Taco Bell is a millennial). We're not quite "geriatric millennial" status which is a hilariously brutal term for those at the front end of the millennial generation born in the early to mid 80s.

Like pretty much every millennial, we thought the halftime show yesterday was the greatest Super Bowl halftime of our lives. The look on all of the kids at our party's faces when the adults lost our collective minds when Eminem started was a site to behold.

But then last night, the memes started coming in.

First it was the jab at how bad OBJ was in Cleveland

Then a few aimed at 50 cent (who I might add has kept up with inflation and should be at least a dollar now)

I saw somebody say that the structural engineer of the stage was the real MVP, and that just cut deep.

But no, it was all fun and games until this one:

Am I old?

After the halftime show we were all talking about how great have a star studded cast of hits was instead of one artist was. All of the songs were popular enough that "everybody knows those". We all felt like you either "get somebody who is young so they don't have enough hits to span multiple generations" or that they're "old and they may have a bunch of hits, but younger people don't know them"

My back is starting to ache just thinking about this. I need my copper socks and that Brett Favre bracelet thingy.

It still is option 2, but I'm just old now. I am the target demographic.

The TikToks of Gen Z'ers sitting on their couch watching their parents trying tocrip walk across the living room to show they still got it. These children nodding their heads in confusion trying to figure out how their mom who sings in the church choir knows every word to "In Da Club" and "Still D.R.E".  Or how their dad that only listens to a playlist of country's greatest hits and his favorite George Strait album can sing every line of "California Love".

But this meme - it hit me. These songs are all 20 years old now. They're "classics". I'm over the hill. I probably need to schedule a colonoscopy because of family medical history.

I started to look at the halftime shows from 20 years ago - Phil Collins, Toni Braxton, Aerosmith, U2, Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones. All the memorable Super Bowls were people that were popular 20 years before that.

So now, I am questioning myself: did they finally just land on a great act by not picking some trending artist who isn't good? Or am I just old and have graduated to the target demographic of every commercial as a mid-career person that finally has some buying power?

Sadly for my ego, I think it's the latter. But the mid-career part sounds nice to my bank account, so I await my next raise with great anticipation. I will also be calling to schedule a midlife physical and maybe get a back brace and start yelling at my kids to hold the flashlight differently when they help me with something.

A few clips that show how hard being a great QB is

One thing about yesterday's game is that I think the majority of the country was fine with the result either wya. There's people that really don't like any LA sports team, but for most of the people who enjoyed yesterday's halftime, we still think of the Rams as a midwest team. The Bengals were a Cinderella team and Joe Burrow is a fantastic young player - everybody can root for them. Matt Stafford put up with getting destroyed in Detroit for a decade and finally got a ring - and Aaron Donald is probably the most feared player in the league.

Just good stories all around. But let's take a look at the play that sealed the game and how fast as a QB you have to mentally process things to make things work:

And for something even more illustrative, here's a throw from Stafford to Kupp on their game winning drive. The Bengals have the middle of the field (MOF) closed with a safety there to stop this exact route. Stafford looks to the underneath receiver to the right to get the safety moving that way and as soon as he takes that first step, he's cooked. Stafford keeps his eyes on the underneath guy and delivers a no-look dart to Kupp behind the defender.

This is why we need more camera angles during broadcasts and more Tony Romos on the commentary to show stuff like this, because it's beautiful in every way and I can't stop watching it.

PS: Eminem is turning 50 this year.