Happiness is a power that we should all be striving to harness, and in turn, working tirelessly to pass on.
If you've followed me on Twitter at all over the last two years, you know how much I love Glacier National Park. It's my favorite place on earth. And this summer, I was set to go back to Glacier with my wife, kids, parents, sister and her husband.
But a few weeks ago, we realized that we had purchased tickets for Dude Perfect's "That's Happy" show when the YouTubers come to Salt Lake City. That show is the same date that we had planned on Glacier. Just like that, my trip to my favorite place on earth was cancelled.
My wife and I were planning on taking the kids to Jackson Hole this past weekend, so we pivoted and invited my parents and sister to come along with us as a sorta-replacement for the trip that was cancelled. This past weekend, my family took off in our car and my parents/sister took off in another car and we made the trek to the Teton Valley.
We had time to kill on Saturday so we decided to go on a hunt for the famous grizzly bear '399.' We drove from our cabin in Victor, ID to the south gate of Yellowstone looking for this bear and whatever else we could find.
We found her and all four of her cubs. It took a few hours of driving up and down roads and many conversations with park rangers, but we found her. We were able to watch the bears from our car. My kids loved it. My wife loved it. I loved it. It was really, really cool.
Along the way, we saw elk, buffalo, moose, deer, a giant bald eagle swooping into a river and actually coming up with a fish, and some of the best nature that God created on our Earth. It was awesome. We were happy.
After seeing the family of bears, we decided to head back to Jackson for lunch. My parents parked their car right next to us. When everyone left their respective cars, I learned that the other car in our party had a very different experience than we did.
They saw the same things and went to the same places that we did, but like many families do when they are having scheduled fun, tensions ran high and arguments ensued. It's a family, and that happens, right?
My wife and I had just had a great, happy experience that morning. The others in our party couldn't wait to get out of the car and move on from the morning's adventure.
***
Nearly a billion of people have watched this music video and it continues to be a powerful, powerful video. Yes, it's a pop song. But bear with me here...
A young girl gets a puppy for her birthday. She raises that puppy, trains that puppy, and grows up with that puppy. The puppy grows into a full-sized dog, and the young girl relies on the dog throughout its life. When her life gets hard, this dog, 'Mello,' is there to help provide some happiness.
Eventually, the girl grows up and the dog grows old. The sick dog needs to be put to rest and it's the girl who has to make a choice to make her dog happy. Let this poor dog suffer? Or do something that will make the dog a little happier?
It's a familiar story for so many people. It's a heart wrenching decision. You don't want to make that decision, but there comes a point where the happiness of your dog becomes more important than the happiness of yourself.
That point is love.
The dog is put down in the music video and a time lapse happens. 20 some odd years later, a birthday party is happening but this time, the young girl is now a mother of a young girl. When that girl receives a puppy for her birthday, a tear falls from the mother's eyes as she sees the happiness of her daughter and reflects on the happiness that her dog provided her.
For those of you who don't want to invest 3:40 into the music video, here are the lyrics of the song:
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
When the morning comes
When we see what we've become
In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind
Not the fire that we've begun
Every argument, every word we can't take back
'Cause with the all that has happened
I think that we both know the way that this story ends
Then only for a minute
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave
Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
When the evening falls
And I'm left there with my thoughts
And the image of you being with someone else
Well, that's eating me up inside
But we run our course, we pretend that we're okay
Now if we jump together at least we can swim
Far away from the wreck we made
Then only for a minute
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave
Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go
So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
Even though I might not like this
I think that you'll be happier, I want you to be happier
Then only for a minute (only for a minute)
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave
Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go
***
GEHB is a community. We love our sports, but we love each other. One of the best things about the GEHB Discord is when someone shares their victory with the rest of the community. The reactions are incredible. It's always happiness. Most of us have never met each other, but there is pure and genuine happiness when one of our GEHB-friends shares news that makes them happy.
Happy.
It's a word that we talk about as soon as a baby smiles. A baby isn't crying and, therefore, they are happy. We throw around 'happy' so much that it almost loses its meaning.
But happiness is not something that should be taken for granted. Happiness is not something that should take a backseat to anything. Happiness is a powerful, powerful emotion and tool for all of us in our lives.
It's why we celebrate victories on GEHB. It's what drives human beings to love one another, to sacrifice for one another, and to care for one another. Happiness is the difference between a dark, crappy day and a bright, wonderful day. It's the difference between an incredible car ride surrounded by beauty and wildlife and a car ride where you're counting down the miles until its over.
Happiness is not something that we think about enough. Happiness is, well, everything.
***
Shawn Achor is a happiness scientist. When he was introduced as a keynote speaker at a conference I was at a few years ago, I immediately rolled my eyes because I didn't want to sit through another 'rah-rah' speech from some touchy-feely speaker who had no experience in my actual field of work.
By the end of his speech, I was looking up all of his TED talks and buying his books.
He studies happiness. He studies what makes us happy in our brains. He studies the differences between happy people and unhappy people. He studies the power that happiness carries.
And boy, is it ever powerful.
Happiness, Achor belives, is something that can be developed. Some people are naturally happier than others, but each of us can do things that will improve our personal happiness and unlock brighter days in the weeks and months ahead.
The truth that science is revealing is that small positive changes can change the trajectory of our life, Achor has said.
What kinds of small, positive changes?
Gratitude, journaling, exercise, meditation, and random acts of kindness are just some of the things that Achor has suggested in the past. In the seminar that I sat through, he suggested starting each day with a friendly email to a family member or friend and reflecting on a positive, happy memory with them.
It felt corny, but I've tried it at multiple times in my life since that seminar, and it really does help. It makes me feel happier.
It doesn't matter what method of happiness creation you employ, just that you employ something. Because if you aren't actively working on being happy, then it's the opposite that creeps in.
That's scary.
***
Some friends of mine were talking to me about the Supreme Court's apparent decision about Roe v. Wade from a couple of weeks ago. I had one friend who was noticeably upset with the decision to the point that it was impacting their day. You could sense the frustration, the anger, and the feelings that they had . Another friend was equally passionate about the decision, but for the opposite reasons. They were elated that the Supreme Court would, apparently, do what they are apparently about to do.
Two friends. Two incredibly important people. Two vastly different feelings.
If those two friends found each other as strangers on the internet, it is likely that they would be enemies. It is likely that one of them would think they are right and that the other is wrong It is likely that they would assume that they don't like each other at all.
The kicker?
Neither of those friends knows that the other confided in me with their feelings. These friends know each other in real life. Enemies is the last word that you would use to describe them.
Such is life in the internet era. Social media is a constant attack on our happiness. Even when things that bring happiness happen, there are always competing posters or trolls or whatever who tell you that you shouldn't be happy. If you get sucked into the vast holes of the internet, happiness seems like an unattainable emotion.
But, like my two friends, happiness can be found in people much easier than it can be found on the internet.
***
You deserve happiness.
I deserve happiness.
We all deserve to be happy.
We all have the right to fight for our happiness.
Sometimes, our happiness isn't going to come the way that we think it will. Sometimes happiness is a product of being on the receiving end of something and other times it's a result of true, genuine sacrifice.
Sometimes we are happy when we're in a certain environment - like a car in the forests of Wyoming - and we think that it's the forest that makes us happy. But other people are in the exact same environment and they aren't happy at all.
It's not the environment that causes the happiness, it's us. We get to control our happiness in everything that we do. That doesn't mean that life will always be puppy dogs and rainbows, but it does mean that we are at least in control.
We won't all be smiling like Ned Flanders everywhere we go, but we can all be happy. And we can all help each other be happy.
***
If you are struggling, please reach out. Please join our GEHB community if you are looking for a sense of belonging. If it's the $7/month that's keeping you from joining, reach out to me and let's figure something out.
Follow me on Twitter. Text me. Call me. Come over to my house. Reach out in whatever way you can think of. Seriously.
I want you to be happy. And if there is anything that can be done, I want to do that thing.
And I know that there are people out there who are willing and ready to do the same thing for me.