GEHB is 1, My Son is 2 and Lil' Hellions Say the Darndest Things
Happy Anniversary to the GEHB community. It's been a fun year and while we have had a bit of a summer break as news has slowed, we are amping back up for the upcoming season.
If you have not joined us on Discord, sign up here: https://discord.gg/Nv2xygvdsK
The Discord is popping in the VIP channels as always, which you can get access to by signing up to support the show/newsletter. We are still working on our TV Viewership dive (which I think is going to be a bit anticlimactic tbqh), that will be coming soon.
On July 27, 2021 Jeff wrote our first article, which is kind of funny looking back at things and where alignment is now: "Autonomy Is Valuable". In that time we've posted almost 150 newsletters and have had a whole mess of fun. Yesterday was also Pork Chop's 2nd birthday and I really wish he would learn a few more words because the terrible twos are in full swing already as he can't express himself as much as he would like.
In this vein, we took to the Discord to ask some of our users what the funniest things their kids have said in the past. All of these we will keep anonymous here:
If a bad guy came in our house, I would chop their legs off and hide them where no one would find them.
Appreciate the bravado, kinda nervous that one was unprovoked.
Mommy! My penis is stuck to my leg!
Quite unfortunate for OP's kid to yell that out during Sacrament meeting for the whole ward to hear.
Hey Dad, I think we need to go to the store to buy some keys.
Not dardnest, but up there with the most random things to be said unprovoked.
My oldest was obsessed with Monsters Inc. Some reason she couldn't pronounce Mike. And would just say the F bomb
Effing Wazowski.
We always joke when our daughter hurts something that we need to chop off whatever is hurt. So now when she hurts her leg she comes in crying saying “please chop my leg off!”
You ain't got no legs Lt. Dan!
My 3 yo pointed to where the penis would be for his stuffed animal and “it’s right there, but I can’t see it so it’s not a big one.”
Logic checks out. #science.
My daughter after being potty trained asked me to come help her wipe - “I’ll do the front crack and you do the back one”
Lots of anatomy lessons today.
My daughter asked for a blessing. I laid my hands on her head and calling her by name, said [Redacted]. Without missing a beat, she turned and looked at me and said 'What?’
Who? Me?
Our oldest daughter when she was like 3 came to us one day and said aw man I got seeds in my socks. We didn't understand what she meant but we figured out that her foot fell asleep. So now that's what we say as a family whenever we have a foot tall asleep.
This is an extremely accurate description.
I want cow juice.
Excellent way of asking for a glass of milk.
When my son was about 5 I said “don’t pick your nose and eat it!” He quickly quipped back “it tastes better than anything Mom cooks!”
Ouch. But the truth hurts sometimes.
(To my mother in law) “Nana why do you act like a mean witch that nobody likes sometimes?”
Made me laugh at least
No comment.
My wife took our daughter to the outhouse while we were camping this is her description of the smell “it smells like bad guys ate powerbait and then farted a lot with fishes up their butts”
Those would probably smell better than an outhouse.
When having the privilege of watching cattle mate:
"Ew mom I am NEVER letting a boy do that to me"
Good realization. Mom and Dad approve.
I had been playing tag with my 4yo for a while when my wife joined in. Almost immediately Kid stops and incredulously says to mom “What? You can still run when you’re old?!”
Back pain is a serious problem that affects millions of Americans chronically. It's no laughing matter kid.