Weird things from the internet that have to be discussed plus maybe some conversation about a random tight end for no reason whatsoever

First things first, let's talk about BYU's tight end situation for completely random and meaningless reasons. As of this writing, there hasn't been any sort of transfer news hit the wire, so this is just a completely random topic for no reason at all.

Let's just take a look at BYU's tight end room in 2023:

Isaac Rex - Elk is probably back for another year. There was some expectation last year that Rex would play 2022 and then look to the professional ranks. His ankle injury last year kind of puts a damper on those plans and, barring something wildly unforeseen, it appears he will be back with the Cougars next year.

Masen Wake - You might think of him as a fullback, but he's a tight end. Well, he's probably and H-back, but he's more tight end than fullback. BYU's coaches clearly trust him and he has another season with the Cougars.

Carter Wheat - Who knows what to really expect from Wheat. He's wrapping up his fourth year in the program this year, but he will only be a junior next season. He has the COVID year and a RS year from last year, so he's only classified as a sophomore right now. Could he leave? Sure, it wouldn't be a surprise. But if he stays, he's been impactful before and could be again.

Ethan Erickson - Just a freshman this year, Erickson impressed coaches during training camp. He hasn't played much this year, but there is a belief that he could step in and play at a very high level if he wasn't buried on the depth chart.

Anthony Olsen - He's a walk-on, but the dude can flat play. We're not going to talk a ton about him, but don't sleep on the dude.

Bentley Redden - Turned down ASU, Tennessee and a host of other programs to sign with BYU. He will join the program in January. He's slender, but he's an elite receiver and has a ton of potential.

Jackson Bowers - The highest rated tight end to ever sign with BYU will join the program next season. He will just be a true freshman, but he has the kind of potential to make an immediate impact. He's a bully on the field. He's a fantastic ball catcher. Bowers could find his way into the starting lineup next year. He's just built different.

We didn't mention Dallin Holker for totally random and meaningless reasons that I'm sure won't be discussed ad nauseum in a million different forums. But if we were going to include Holker, we would point out that he would be a senior next year. In all likelihood, he would be splitting reps with Rex and Wake at least, and potentially with Bowers and someone else as well. If the guy wants more guaranteed playing time, who could blame him? Leaving your team in the middle of the season would be a dick move, but college football is an industry full of people looking out for themselves, so it wouldn't be crazy surprising if a player looked out for #1.

You could hate him. You could say whatever you wanted to say about him. At the end of the day, he's a talented player no matter what school he plays for. BYU would also be perfectly fine with or without him on the roster. The tight end position is as deep as any position on the roster next year.

Again, all of this is just random conversation for no reason at all. Certainly not breaking any news here, just making random observations.

Things From The Internet You Need To See

Lou Holtz apparently sent handwritten letters to Brian Kelly and the old man is NOT happy that Kelly didn't respond to him.

First things first, the Pat McAfee Show is fantastic and everyone should listen to it every day. The whole bit with the Holtz impression is as hilarious as it is unexpected. It's a long clip, but it's worth your time, I promise. (NSFW Warning)

Next things next, WTF?!

Why on earth is Holtz hand writing letters to send to Brian Kelly? Did he send letters to Charlie Weiss or Tyrone Willingham? Is he sending letters to players today? Did he ever sketch pictures of recruits and send those out with the letters?

And he's expecting people to respond?!

Honestly, if it were for GEHB stickers that I sent out a couple of years ago, I don't know that I would even know how to send a letter. In fact, now that I have a community mailbox, I don't know how to send a letter. I assume there is an outgoing box at the community box, but I don't know, I'm not a scientist.

It's 2022. Stop sending letters, Holtz. You might be 4 million years old, but you don't have to act like it.

Dan Orvlosky definitely farted on air and I have to say that I understand how that could happen.

Just watch the video. It almost sounds like a fake fart, but that was all-too real.

Here is my hypothesis on what happened: Orvlosky was talking and had to sneed mid-sentence so he quickly hit the mute button on his microphone. Immediately post-sneeze, he unmuted because, after all, he was mid-sentence and it would have been weird AF to have an extended silence there.

What he didn't anticipate was how relaxed the sneeze would make his body. The sneeze relaxed his sphincter just enough that he let out a fart and the mic caught it. So, everyone watching Monday Night Football got to hear his butt do some talking.

Orvlosky with an air biscuit. A real ass-flapper, if I do say so myself. Some fine colon-bowlin' and some real rectal turbulence.

There's nothing better than a fart. (Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. F*** I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don't give a shit about your kids.)

And finally, some BYUness to bring things home today...

I just... I don't know... there are no words, really.

Is it a stupid hypothetical question that is specifically designed to make BYU kids look like weirdos? Yes. Of course it is.

Did the BYU kids absolutely knock the cue out of the park and take weirdo to a whole new level? You bet your sweet butt cheeks they did.

Would you rather die an excruciating death or watch a porn video? UH, GUYS, COME ON!

Look, I don't care about anyone's answer here, really. I mean I know my answer, but hey, if you would rather die the death, then die away.

But it's the laughing and giggling at the phrase 'porn video.' This isn't some kind of super dry Dax Shephard joke that gets funnier the more you hear it and think about it. It's just what it's called.  Maybe you just had to be there, but the laughing and giggling at the thought of watching a porn video just sent this video home for me.

I love BYU, folks. We are truly a peculiar people.